My pants are really painful today. I cant even sit straight in my chair bc I am in so much pain. I’m skipping dinner and just working out really hard instead just like I did on Monday. Hopefully I wont get dizzy this time.
In one year, I’ve gained 30lbs. I’ve calculated that to be 2.5lbs a month which means every week I am gaining a little more than a half a pound. Which explains why the pants I put on this AM that fit do not fit me now and are really painful to wear. Today I’ve consumed; a protein smoothie, piece of wheat bread, a half cup of coffee, a handful of oatmeal square cereal, chicken noodle soup, some multigrain crackers, water, and a green tea. At this point I don’t know what to do. If I eat more I know I’ll gain. If I eat less I am better off not eating at all. I feel the only thing I can do is quit my job so I can work out every day for hours at a time. Thats not even realistic. :(
I eat very similar to this everyday and do my best to work out at LEAST 3 times we ek (which is almost impossible w my insane work schedule) and yet I am gaining weight/mass. I’m convinced people publish this shit to ensure they always have a target market.
Something I’ve learned in the past 24 hours is that anorexia and my love for drinking do not mix. I am confident that bulimia and alcohol would have a working relationship however I want to keep my teeth. My quest continues for the perfect eating disorder for my lifestyle!
I had an egg roll and some green beans….I sat hours in a conference room next to the pantry and smelled the left over chinese food the whole time. I gave in shortly after my meeting was over. I’m not even good at aquiring an eating disorder.
We had a manditory staff lunch today and it was filled with chinese food. I told them I wasnt feeling well and didnt want to eat anything that might upset my stomach. An eating disorders gotta start somewhere…
My pants are to tight lately that I have bruises and welts on my hips. My boyfriend feels terrible when he sees me getting upset over the physical abuse I take from clothes. I’ve worked 35 hours in 3 days and havent had an ounce of time to work out. I tried dragging my ass out of bed ridic early on Wednesday to work out but I fell over from exhaustion and I was sent back to bed by my caring boyfriend. I had a protein smoothie for breakfast and a handful of almonds so far today. I think I’ll skip lunch and dinner today.
I purchased a fall jacket today online (an adorable Northface windproof jacket for hiking/fall outdoorsy stuff). I sure as hell hope I can fit in it when it arrives. I will be completely disappointed/angry if I have to get a larger size. I think I’ll stop eating lunch/dinner til it arrives just to be sure.
I don’t know how much longer I can do the 5am workout sessions on 5 hours of sleep. I still feel like shit and still can’t fit in my pants. I have welts/raw skin on my hips from the jeans I squished myself into this weekend. I skipped my workout this am because I am too tired so I decided I am not allowed to eat for the rest of the day. Why do I have to torture myself so much?
Vent sesh: I’ve religiously woken up all week around 5am to do interval training on my elliptical and have been doing my weight trainig at night. I’ve also been having protein smoothies in the am for bfast, almonds for snacks, salads for lunch, and a light vegitarian dinner. Yet my size 12 pants are exceptionally snug today. It’s a bit disheartening to work out so hard you can barely walk and your pants are telling you to shove it. I should go buy a cheeseburger and throw it all over my pants and tell my pants to shove it. Wait… that cheeseburger would be too delicious to waste.
According to the LA Times the average U.S. woman is 162.9 pounds and wears a size 14 (which I believe is based on a 5’-4’ height). I’m 150lbs +/- pending the day, 5’-3”, and a size 12. I do not rest assure in the fact that I am close to the national average. In fact its alarming to me. It’s alarming because that many women are in pain on a daily basis when their pants are digging in to their abdomen because they’re spilling out over the top of them and their thighs are bruised and reddened at the end of the day bc their legs dont fit right in their pants.
Is it safe to assume that one too many people are falling slaves to fast food? Am I the only “national average” who does not eat (and will not eat) fast food, bagels, and anything proceessed or are other people finding that their bodies are just naturally storing fat regardless of their efforts to eat healthy?
This afternoon someone I work with actually stood aside to let me walk by (in a typical common corridor mind you). Seriously? I wish it was after lunch time because it would at least given me motivation to purge my salad I had. I wonder if balsamic burns coming up?
I am dedicating my first post to you. I’ve spent countless hours of my life trying to appease you with hopes you’d meet me half way. I even gave up delicious french fries (my favorite food by the way), pasta (second to the fries), and any other incredibly stimulating food just for you. I’ve adapted to enjoying plain oatmeal, salads, bland chicken, and even Tofu! I’ve also gotten up every morning at 5am (the suns not even out yet) to do 30 mins of cardio to then work a 12-15hr stressful day and then come home from work at 9pm to do weight training. All I am asking in exchange for my sacrifice is for you to take some of that extra “baggage” off of what should be my abs, hips, and my thighs. As an added bonus, I am throwing in a tumblr blog that is all about you. So what do you say you meet me 20% of the way?
With absolute certainty you will kick me in the knee when I turn away,